Who wants to help me steal some chickens? - Kidnapper567

 

Hi everyone, I am looking for a partner in crime. My name is Kipnapper567. During the day I have a boring desk job but at night I can let my true self come out an have some fun. I am the head of the chicken smuggler business in Europe. You probably think every time your chicken goes missing it was a fox but that’s not true. It’s always us. I have my eyes set on my next target: Rosie and her family’s chickens. The plan is to sneak into their house, while they are outside working in their garden or whatever, to steal the keys of the chicken coop. After I’ve done that, I will have to find a hiding place in their garden (without them noticing of course) until it’s fully dark outside so I can steal the chickens. But there are some problems with this plan and that is where a partner would come in handy. First of all, they have a bunch of cats inside their home and I am extremely allergic so I need somebody that can go steal the keys for me. They can do this preferably during the day while I’m at work so that they are delivered to me before I go into hiding. Another problem is that they set up a laser which, if crossed, causes an alarm to go off in the house. Personally, I don’t know a lot about alarms so while you are in the house you will also have to make sure the alarm DOES NOT go off by dismantling it. And then lastly, I need a get-away driver so that I can get out of their with the chickens as fast as possible. So I need somebody that likes cats, is good with technology and has a drivers licence. If this sounds like it’s something for you, feel free to reply do this post in the comments.

Ps. If you want to know what we do with the chickens, go cry about it because you will never find out.

Comments

  1. Dr. Evil27 April 2026 at 23:37

    As an genious EVIL scientist, i could easily dismantle the lasers without the alarm going off. But I am in need of an EVIL disguise (since I still have a restraining order), and some EVIL compensation, since I'm in need of some funding to making my EVIL machines.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous28 April 2026 at 00:08

      I get that EVIL scientist. For compensation i can give you, if everything works out, 10k. For your disguise i still have some chicken costumes in which you will be unrecognizable. Tell me what you think about this.

      Delete
    2. kipnapper56728 April 2026 at 00:12

      that was me. I forgot to put my name.

      Delete
  2. Lord Chickenhead27 April 2026 at 23:59

    Dear kipnapper567, as you may have noticed by my name I also do things with chickens. I am the head of the sicilian mob so i know a lot of people who could help you. I can do the dismanteling myself but I could get you someone for driving the getaway car and since my head is, you know, a chicken's head I dont think the cats will be a problem. this Rosie does remind me a lot of someone I used to know and i've always wanted to take revenge on her.
    kind regards, Lord C.H.

    (ps. I am a chickenlover and I am on a mission to kidnap all of the chicken maybe you could be my partner too, if you want.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous28 April 2026 at 00:12

      I am a big fan of you Lord Chickenhead. I've always admired your work. I think we would be a great fit on eachothers projects.

      Delete
    2. kipnapper56728 April 2026 at 00:13

      my again, forgot my name.

      Delete
  3. the Blue Spirit28 April 2026 at 00:01

    I need to steal drugs from people who fake transporting chickens. So since you are an experienced chicken smuggler you can distract them with pretending you are going to steal their chickens. I am also a pro thief so I can help you steal Rosie's chickens.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Blueba28 April 2026 at 00:10

    Hi, I think we would be great partners, I am super flexible and am able to easily avoid the laser. I am good with animals so the cats won't be a problem. I will help you if you help me, so let mee know I am Blueba, the one who wants to rob the biggest bank on earth.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous30 April 2026 at 00:54

    hi I'm Lafayette I love cats and dogs and since i steal animals all the time I'm a good fit the only thing is I would like to steal th cats also if this condition is fine i would love to help you

    ReplyDelete

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